Communication problems in relationships are a primary cause of failed marriages, broken hearts and ruined dreams. To guarantee that your relationship does not crash and burn as a result of these problems, you need to develop good communication skills in relationships. This is the first step on the pathway to create blissful relationships. Good communication in romantic relationships is based on 3 core skills or communication practices which are:
Think you've explained yourself clearly? Think again. Double check. Make sure that your significant other really does understand what you want. Try recording conversations that you have with your lover or with friends and then transcribe the recording. When you see what's written down, you'll understand why we have such communication problems in relationships. We are so lazy with our thinking and explanations. We leave sentences half-finished and we expect our partners to finish the sentence for us. Often they do. But do not be surprised if sometimes they end it differently than you would have done. You say, 'Honey, would you take the trash out …?' (meaning tonight before the garbage truck comes). He thinks, 'Yeah, I'll take the trash out tomorrow sometime.' Unless you are married to a super psychic, do not expect your partner to be a mind reader. Get clarity in your thinking and words. And of course, it works both ways. Make sure to check that you are clearly understanding what your partner is communicating and asking for.
Success gurus affirm what the army has known for a long time, that minds thrive on clear specific orders. It's no different in relationships. If you have specific needs, you need to communicate those specific needs to your partner. It's no good you say, 'I want you to take me somewhere nice this weekend,' and then complaining when he leads you into Dunkin 'Donuts. It will help big time if you can say instead, 'I really want to get away this weekend just the two of us so we can reconnect in an intimate way. Let's go up to Lake Whatever on Friday night, and book into that sweet little motel, The Love Inn, on Highway 95. We'll take a bottle of champagne, order pizza, and give each other exotic massages by candle light. ' The clearer and more specific you are in expressing your thoughts, feelings and desires, the less room there is for any communication problems in relationships.
Honesty is not a blunt instrument that you use to beat your partner over the head with. Honesty in relationship communication involves first being honest with yourself. This requires self-knowledge … and self-knowledge comes from non-judgmental observation of the way you think and act. By watching your mind, your emotions, like a passive witness sat in the back of a movie theater watching the movie of your daily life, you will develop greater perspective. From this greater perspective you can be truly honest with yourself. From this greater self-understanding, you will understand others better too. And you will be able to communicate honestly and kindly. Honesty need always to be tempered by kindness and love for relationships to thrive. There are ways of being honest without causing pain to others. This kind of honesty will end many of the communication problems in relations.